Disclaimer !!!!!!

i run the risk here of really not making my son happy, but it is what is on my heart and mind today…

My mother was many things…one for sure was wise. When I was raising Erin and Brody alone for just a couple of years I thought it was very hard. I am sure with all the young mothers out there you know that. I had to work and do everything alone….(love you, Rachel!!!). I complained some…!. My mom told me then, “Barbara, when they are young they step all over your feet, when they are older its all over your heart. ” This was not comforting, and I had no idea what she meant…now I do. They never do it on purpose, they would not. It just comes with life.

My son is hurting. This is no secret, he blogged about it today. Things do not change when your children get older. They may say “stop, I’m an adult now.” It does not matter how old or far away they are. When they hurt or are confused or disappointed, we are too.

Brody is a very gifted man. He always has been. He is sensitive, kind, generous and melancholy. It’s that artsy thing. If I could choose a friend, it would be him. He is loyal, and even without many words his feelings are deep. He loves deeply and also gets hurt deeply. He does not understand being hurt by people because he does not do it. His family and our church family here in California love Brody and his family very deeply and many of especially the older saints pray regularly for them.

Brody has ALWAYS known that we are behind him 100%. We may not have understood some of the decisions he may make, or agree with them totally, but we always respect his decisions . We trust him completely. There have been times when we would seek advice from him in certain areas that he knew more about them we did.

We are his biggest fans. When he sang in our worship team, we cried. Others did also. Why? He sang to the Lord. He would never talk in front of people, but the boy could sing anytime.

Why all of this…because Like I said, my boy is hurting and then so am I…his Dad too. So that is where I am today also.

Several years ago this song came out and Mike and I would cry and cry, listen to it again and cry some more. These are the words, probably written for a younger child, but doesn’t change anything for this Mom.

I love you, Brody.

Only for a moment you are mine to hold. The plans that heaven has for you will all too soon unfold. So many different prays I’ll pray for all that you might do, but most of all I want to know that you’re walkin’ in the truth. And if I never told you, I want you to know, I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams and that faith gives you the courage to dare to do great things. I’m here for you what ever this life brings so let my love give you roots and help you find your wings.

May passion be the wind that leads you through your days and may conviction keep you strong guide you on your way. May there be many moments that make your life so sweet, oh but more than memories I pray that God will fill your heart with dreams and that faith gives you the courage to dare to do great things. I’m here for you what ever this life brings, so let my love give you roots and help you find your wings.

It’s not living if you don’t reach for the sky, I’ll have tears as you take off, but I’ll cheer as you fly…

Thank you Mark Harris for these words.

Thank you, Brody for always making us proud. ( well, except for the Bozo hair days) You may think this “cheesy”, I don’t care, I’m the Mom and that’s it. It’s how we feel.

This is our Trinity. I mentioned her in my last post, regarding the 4th. I could not help but insert these into this post. She is such a natural at this. Almost instinctively, this child is “on”. She loves to be in front of people. The thing that is really good about that is that she isn’t annoying about it. We are happy.

I was never into the “pageant” thing, but at 3 she saw the girls in the Christmas Parade and said “I want to do that!!!” , and she did. She has very good communication skills with adults and children. She is also very caring, about everything. She never met her great grandma Pearl, (Mammo), but she wants to keep her sewing machine because it was hers. She has made 3 quilts for those orphans in Africa and I know I mentioned before at 3-4 she collected money in a coffee can for Tsunami children on her own. She is sweet and sensitive girl and I love her. Back to the “pageant” thing….I was not into it, and I know her uncle was not either. She really wanted to though. We supported her. She has learned through this poise and helps. She has had to serve her community in various things and learns with this title, comes some responsibility. She does it willingly and responsibly. So, Trinny, we love you and we are very proud of who God made you. You are a wonderful part of our family that we all enjoy.

Peace …..

I thought I would try this…Wow..Who knew !!!?

Your results:
You are Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman 70% Robin 70% Green Lantern 65% The Flash 65% Superman 60% Spider-Man 55% Supergirl 50% Catwoman 25% Hulk 25% Iron Man 20% Batman 15%

You are a beautiful princess with great strength of character.

I honestly tried to think what Kristin would want most from here and this was it. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AUNTIE KOOKIE, with kisses from these guys. Kristin, we all love you dearly. These three always have sweet memories of your love and care for them.

You are the best! You have always been sacrificial in your love for all of us. We do notice. You are the perfect partner I prayed for for our son. You are talented and resourceful and gentle and beautiful inside and out. You are strong and self reliant. You love the Lord with everything and strive to learn more about what He wants from you. I know you know these things, well maybe you don’t think that way, but I want to make sure that you know..that we know..that these things are true.

May the Lord give you all your hopes and dreams and bless you richly. We love you so and hope to see as soon as we can. I will call later. Need to hear your voice.

Happy birthday, honey…Mom and Dad

Wow..I just realized how long it had been since I sat down to write. This is what we have been doing for the past week.

My husband is a “pack-rat”. He got it honestly though, his father was the “king of the pack-rats. I wish there was a prize for this kind of thing, but then maybe this is a disease that should not be honored. Anyway, Grandpa died unexpectedly about 4 years ago now..Brody and Kristin were to move into his home on selling theirs, so we went through things pretty quickly and put it in storage, then Brody and Kristin moved and we moved over here, more stuff, more storage, it was really crazy..I know, I know, ridiculous.

We have now been, finally throwing out stuff. You know, we probably won’t need Grandpa’s ex-wife’s cancelled checks from 1984, or 7 boxes of vacation pictures of just the scenery that we don’t have any idea where that is, or people we don’t know. There are boxes of Velcro, caulking stuff, old motor oil and misc. parts of tools. There were lots of books, and I have a hard time throwing out books, so I will take them to the used book store, but there were some “tarot books, and spiritual scary stuff books”…Yikes, those are gone.. My precious friend, Diane works at Hospice Store and probably 2 pick-up trucks went there. Our sweet friends, Matt and Yuki left Japan with only their suitcase, so another truck load went to them. You know, dishes, silverware, pots, bowls, towels, etc. So it will eventually come together. I have a Worship CD in the basement, I play it loud and sing to it loud. I have fun and talk to the Lord. (I need some advice on some of this stuff). This got me to thinking…..

In my own life, I also have stuff, worthless things, thoughts, ideas that certainly can be thrown out. Things of no use to anyone, that can bring no good to anything or anyone. I need to get rid of those things. Then, I too, have memories, sweet and sad. Memories that I can linger over, pray about and then file away for future contemplation. Keeping the good, to look into later to tell my kids and grands. Then also, some to ask the Lord to remove, not to look at them again. Then, the treasures…..the thoughts, memories and simple things I want to keep close. Things like sweet thoughts of Erin and Brody growing up. Treasures of when Mike and I began our lives together so many years ago. Letters written to us by Kristin upon her and Brody’s Wedding Day. Irreplaceable things.

So I have enjoyed this time. It has been work all week with a weekend ahead of more of the same. But it also has been a great time of reminiscing, prayer and laughter. I am grateful to a great God who has loved us through all these trials and treasures.

“I will lift up my eyes to the mountains, From whence shall my help come?  My help comes from the Lord Who made Heaven and Earth.”  Psalm 121:1-2

We had the privilege this week of traveling out of town, just  little for a customer.  For about 24 years now, we have been going on “church camp outs”.  We haven’t been to every one, but close.  When the kids were young we had the usual tent.  All the preparation, the dirt, the sweeping, the yuck…Now you can say that I an “high maintenance”, “spoiled”, etc.  It’s true, I did have Mike bring in a bucket for a sponge bath every morning and a mattress for our bed.  I don’t care.  Things progressed through the years and by the time the kids were in High School, we rented a tent trailer.  Now this is doable.  Anyway, at one of these camp outs Mike met a guy and he became a customer of Mike’s and this guy needed help this week, so we grabbed Sookie and went to see him.

Lake Tahoe is only about 1 1/2 hours away, its a beautiful drive and the weather was great.  I believe Lake Tahoe is a place of peace.  On the way there we explored Donner Lake where the camp out will be this year and found the spots for all the kids and Mike and I so we could be together.  We had lunch in a little place so that Mike could watch his beloved “Tiger” in the sudden death play off.

At the camp where this customer lives, Mike went to work and Sookie and I went on a long walk, or two.  It was so peaceful.  Sometimes, you cannot help but Praise the Lord.  It was quiet, in the middle of the week.  It was calm.  It made me very grateful for a few things.  One, for the freedom that we have to move around and explore and enjoy. Two, for the senses God gave us to hear the birds, smell the pine and feel the soft breeze.  Three, that He created these incredible things for us to enjoy and get back to Him.  I felt Him there in that sweet breeze.  As Sookie and I went down to the water, I could see all the trees and the sky and colors with which He paints.  I was almost overtaken by the reality of it.

In these times of the troubled economy, the gas prices soaring, the people we love hurting….I was so thankful for a short time away, with our Creator to be reminded of just how much He still loves us.  That He is the Creator and we are still His children.  “Let us not grow weary….”

Lincoln and Zion